Death Row
by garretelliot
Summary: An interview with a death row inmate. This is re-posted, with my mistakes corrected and new chapters. I change the rating because of language I missed the first time.
1. Default Chapter

Title- Death Row  
Author- garrettelliot  
Disclaimer- Nope, but I thought about suing for custody of Chris Meloni, just don't know where to file the papers. Dick Wolf is da man. (Maybe flattery will get me somewhere.)  
A/N- This is my first posted fan fic. Hope you like it. Please R and R. &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

All prisons smell the same, no matter the age of the building. From the day the first inmate arrives, the odor permeates the facility. It is the reek of despair, of desperation, of hopelessness.

Dr. Renee Wilson had never gotten used to the smell, the oppressive feeling of walls closing in. Even though she knew she could leave at anytime. She hated these death row interviews and afterward she always needed a shower. These men, their crimes, their desolation settled over her skin, like a layer of some foul oily substance she couldn't wait to wash away.

She looked up at the sound of chains rattling in the hall. She stood as the door opened and a manacled figure walked in followed by the guard.

"You have one hour until yard time Doctor." The guard said. "I'll be right outside if you need me."

"Thank you, officer." Renee sat and gestured to the prisoner to do the same. He took a seat like he owned the room. This one would probably be arrogant, proud of his crimes.

Thank you for your willingness to participate in this study." She said.

"I didn't have a more pressing engagement." He said pleasantly. There was no trace of arrogance in his manner. "My time is yours until Friday."

"I've read your file. You plead guilty and refused a lawyer or a deal for a lesser sentence. You've never appealed your conviction and specifically requested that there be no stay of execution. One might assume you have a death wish."

"I'd much rather live to ripe old age and die in my sleep. But I killed thirteen men and I'd do it again. I broke the law and the death penalty was fair. Those pedophiles got just punishment for their crimes and Friday night so will I."

"Tell me about the men you killed, why did you chose them?"

"Each one was tried for child molestation and each got off on a technicality. The system could not stop them and they had to be stopped."  
"So you became judge, jury and executioner. Some might see that as a god complex."

"A god complex." He chuckled pleasantly. "Doctor, I have no delusions of godhood. I'm just a man."

"A man who decided life and death for others."

"Those monsters stole the innocence of their victims and the courts let them walk. I couldn't let them go on hurting children." He stated calmly.

"So you killed them."

"So I killed them."

"Do you feel any remorse over your actions?"

"Am I sorry they're dead? No. I am sorry the system failed their victims, that there was no other way to stop them. I have blood on my hands that will never wash away, but it is not innocent blood, Doctor."

"Isn't guilt or innocence for the courts to decide?"

"When was the hearing on the guilt or innocence of their victims? You show me that verdict and I'll concede the possible innocence of those men."

"You shot each man in the forehead at close range. Did you want to watch their faces as they realized death was immanent?"

"There was no satisfaction in what I did, Doctor. A condemned man has time to prepare himself for the inevitable. I wanted them to be prepared."

"You turned yourself in even though you were not a suspect. Why not go on killing? Surely there were more men who fit your criteria."

"An officer was shot attempting to bring in a suspect for questioning. I couldn't risk injury to another cop."

"You made a full confession without the presence of an attorney and mounted no defense. Do you regret that move now?"

"What I did, no matter how necessary, was indefensible. Any defense a lawyer would have come up with would have been a lie."

"The truth is very important to you, isn't it?"

"Truth is the only thing I have left. Not a bad epitaph, 'Truth, the only thing he had left'." He smiled.

"You identify yourself as devote, yet you have refused all visits from clergy, why is that?"

"I sincerely regret my actions, but I saw no other way. I've made my peace with God."

"Do you see yourself as God's instrument, working on his orders?"

"Doctor," He smiled. "I'm not a religious fanatic. God didn't tell me to kill those perverts. Aliens don't transmit messages to me through my microwave and my Rice Krispies don't say anything but 'Snap, Crackle, Pop'. The only voice in my head is mine."

"So you made a conscious decision and you felt it was reasonable at the time. Do you still feel that way, in retrospect?"

"Murder is never reasonable, Doctor. There was simply no other way to protect their future victims."

"You assumed there would have been more victims."

"Once a pedophile starts molesting he doesn't stop. You know that as well as I do, so don't patronize me. I'm not insane. I knew exactly what I was doing and I was fully aware of the consequences of my actions. I made a choice to kill and I did."

"If you felt justified in your actions, why accept the death penalty? When you plead guilty, the DA was prepared to take the death penalty off the table. You refused."

"I believe in the rule of law. The punishment for premeditated murder is a needle in the arm. Selecting, stalking and executing are as premeditated as it gets. I chose to step outside the system and break the law. The law must be upheld and applied fairly or anarchy will result."

"It has been suggested that a conspiracy of silence existed within the police department, which allowed you to kill so many men." He smiled at the word conspiracy.

"There was no conspiracy, Doctor. My actions were mine and mine alone. I got away with so many, because I never was a suspect."

"Several anti death penalty groups are calling for clemency on your behalf. Do you think the governor will grant it?"

"I've asked the governor no to do so."

"These groups say the death penalty is not a deterrent. What are your thoughts?"

"Well I certainly won't be killing anyone after Friday, will I?" He smiled easily. "I'd say that while threat of the death penalty may not prevent the first murder it use certainly cuts way back on recidivism."

"Are you afraid to die?"

"I died years ago, Doctor."

The door opened and the guard said, "Times up."

"Thank you for your time." Renee said as they both stood. "May we continue tomorrow, Mr. Stabler?"

"I'll look forward to it, Doctor and please call me Elliot.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

A/N – I love Elliot but I also love to be mean to my characters. Please feel free to tell me I'm so going to hell for this one, cause to tell you the truth I think this sealed my eternal damnation. Please read and review, I'm writing in a vacuum here. I have no beta so I could use the input.


	2. The Broad Path

Title- **The Broad Path  
**Author- garrettelliot  
Disclaimer- Altogether now, we don't own them.  
Summary- How do you get to Death Row?  
Author's Note- For my beta, Faith and for jaimiexh who wondered how it all happened.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

As the cell door swung shut, Elliot lay down on the bunk. He closed his eyes and fell asleep, remembering…

A Dark Place-

When had the thought first crossed his mind? He remembered early in his career thinking that they needed to die. Then he joined SVU and somewhere in the first case he knew the death penalty should be applied to the bastards. Just about the time he was partnered with Liv, he started to picture himself killing them. Not that he would, but sometimes the fantasy of killing them and getting away with it was all that kept him from exploding.

The anger at the sick bastards was bad enough when he could watch them led away to serve their sentence. But when the system failed, when the sickos got a walk, he could barely hold it in. Only one person could truly understand what was going on inside him; his partner, his best friend, Olivia. He could always turn to Liv with all the darkness inside. She never turned away. Liv loved him, darkness and all, and he loved her.

Not as a lover, although plenty of people had made that assumption. He'd never done more than kiss her cheek. He loved Kathy more than anything except his kids. But Kathy had left; even though he'd offered to transfer, or quit outright, she'd gone. He remembered the coldness in her eyes as she'd turned at the door.

"Do you really think this is just about the job? This is about us. I don't love you anymore, and I'm tired of pretending. I loved you when Maureen was born, but after that I stuck it out for Kathleen, then the twins. I don't want to stick it out anymore. I don't want to hurt you but I can't pretend anymore, I don't have the energy. I'll be at my mother's. You can see the children anytime; I won't keep them from you." The sound of the closing door thundered in his heart for weeks.

He hadn't said anything at work. He couldn't face having everyone know that his marriage was falling apart. Elliot hoped he could reach Kathy, convince her that they had a chance. By the time she had filed for divorce, everyone already knew. Scarry had seen to that, telling Liv and Cragen that Kathy had filed for separation.

Even then he hadn't completely lost it. Liv held him back, once he had let her in that was. She was the hand to hold in the dark places. The darkest of all was packing the house after it was sold. He felt like he was dying, packing the home where his babies were raised. When he'd finished with what had been his and Kathy's room, he had sat on the stairs and cried. Liv had found him there and held him till his tears stopped. Then she'd kissed his cheek and never spoke of it again.

Olivia had held him together through the divorce and helped him rebuild his life. He'd always been the one to protect her. Now she protected him, made sure he ate, didn't let him crawl into a bottle, and covered for him when he slipped up at work. Slowly, he'd crawled his way back to a normal life. He tried to date but gave up when he realized every woman resembled Kathy.

The only truly happy times were with his kids. Then Maureen transferred to UCLA, and Kathleen followed a year later. A few months after that, Kathy remarried and moved the twins to Colorado. Elliot saw them only three or four times a year. But Olivia held him together. He would feel himself on the edge, and she would be at his door. He never had to call; she just knew when he needed her.

He had asked Liv to marry him once, and she had smiled and kissed him gently. Then she had told him that he was the best friend she'd ever had, but she couldn't be Kathy. She said he shouldn't settle for less than what he felt for his ex-wife. She was right, and she deserved a man who would love only her.

Then suddenly, Liv was gone. A stupid accident left him alone in the dark. A bus struck the cab she was riding in. She had hung on for two days while he held her hand and begged her to stay, but she slipped away. He died that day and no one knew. They buried her beside her mother and life went on around him.

Cragen assigned him a new partner, but they never had got close. How could they? She walked beside him, always. He worked, spending more and more time at the station. He went to his apartment only to change. He never seemed to sleep anymore, only pass out for an hour or two in the crib. He tried to hold back the dark places for Liv's sake; she wouldn't have wanted him to let go. But everyday the darkness grew and there was no hand to hold.


	3. The Way To Destruction

Title- The Way To Destruction  
Author- garrettelliot  
Disclaimer- Hey Mr. Wolf, learn to play nice.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

His friends tried. Cragen, Munch and Fin did everything they could to pull him back into life. George Haung convinced him to schedule some appointments. He went and sat for an hour at a time, but the words wouldn't come. The only time he felt alive was when the kids came to visit. Living for a couple of weeks, then dead once again after he put them on the plane.

He realized the only thing he had left was the job. Every perp just led to another, there was never an end. Each one they put away pushed the dark back a little, but when one walked, the blackness threatened to envelope him. Then came the Morgan case.

Angela Morgan was eight with a smile that could light up Manhattan. She had been raped and beaten by a neighbor. Elliot had first met her at the hospital, sitting on an exam bed. She looked up at him with Liv's eyes, chocolate brown that took in all of him and didn't mind the darkness.

He had busted his ass on her case only to watch it fall apart. The judge had thrown out the confession and Angela couldn't hold it together on the stand. The perp walked. As he left the courtroom, the bastard had grinned at Elliot and winked.

El knew the son of a bitch would go after Angela again, so he waited outside her house, grabbed the perp as he came into the yard and drove him to a landfill in Jersey. He had put one between the sicko's eyes and drove away knowing that the man would never hurt another child.

The next one had been easier; he liked to troll for young runaways at raves. After he walked at his trial, El followed him for three nights before bagging him at a warehouse rave. Homicide Squad had no clues and no real suspects.

Over the next year and a half, Elliot managed to kill thirteen more pedophiles. No one ever suspected anyone in the SVU squad. Homicide was going on the premise of a former victim or family member turned vigilante.

Then, a homicide detective was shot trying to bring in a suspect for questioning. When Elliot heard the news, he knew he couldn't risk another cop getting hurt. He walked into Cragen's office and laid his gun and badge on the captain's desk. Cragen looked at him for a minute, and then asked. "Why?"

"You'll want to call Munch and Fin in, Cap. They deserve to hear this from me."

Cragen had called the other two in. "Okay, Elliot, why are you handing over your badge?" Don asked.

"I'm the guy homicide is looking for. I'm the Pedophile Killer." Elliot said.

"Son of a bitch," Fin cursed. "No way."

"Not funny, Elliot." Munch said.

"You're turning yourself in?" Cragen asked.

"I can't let another cop get hurt." Elliot looked down at the floor. "I'm sorry, Cap. I have no excuse. I just couldn't let them hurt anymore kids."

"Don't say anything else, Elliot; let us get you a lawyer. Then we'll call the DA."

"No lawyer, Don, no plea bargain. I'll plead guilty and take what I get."

"El, no plea bargain means a needle upstate. With Huang testifying, we can probably get you off on an insanity plea." Don was nearly pleading with the man he'd always considered a son.

"Elliot, think about your kids, man." Fin said.

"I am Fin, The sooner this is out of the papers, the sooner they can get some closure." He looked at John. "You need to cuff me now."

"No, I can't." Munch had tears in his eyes.

"Guys, if you don't follow procedure, IAB'll have your asses. Now cuff me."

Fin stepped behind him and reached for his cuffs, then stopped. "I can't do it, man."

"Don?" Elliot looked at his captain.

Cragen stepped around the desk and cuffed him. "I'm sorry, son."

"No, Cap, I'm sorry. Sorry I let you down." Elliot grinned weakly. "At least I'm saving the city my pension."


	4. The Narrow Gate

Title- The Dark  
Author- garrettelliot  
Disclaimer- Me- But Dick I only want to play with them for the weekend and you'll get such a great movie out of it.  
Dick- Nope, not a chance.  
(Damn, I can't even get them when I write Dick's lines.)  
Author's Note- Okay, so I thought it was complete, but you people keep asking for more and I keep wondering where it could go from here. So you guys have no one to blame but yourselves &&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

After the arraignment, Elliot was placed in protective custody at Riker's. George Huang convinced the ADA, Jack McCoy, that in light of his refusal to have counsel, Elliot should be evaluated to determine his mental state. Elliot refused to see Huang, so McCoy persuaded the judge to order the exam.

When Huang walked out of the prison complex, he was not surprised to see Don Cragen sitting in his car, in the parking space beside Huang's.

"Good afternoon, Captain." George said, in an almost formal manner.

"How is he, George?" Cragen went right to the point.

"Outwardly Elliot is calm. But I sense there is a great deal of inner turmoil, and that it's been going on for some time." Huang didn't hesitate to break confidentiality to Elliot's friend and captain. "He is very good at presenting a rational front to the world. But I believe Elliot is suffering from deeply rooted Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. The condition stems from Olivia's death. I don't know how the department shrink could have missed it, given how many times Elliot had sessions with her in the past."

"The department hired a new shrink about three weeks before Olivia's death." Don said. "Elliot saw him after the accident."

"That explains it, only someone who knew Elliot would have seen this. Frankly, I blame myself. I couldn't get him to open up to me and then he seemed to be handling it."

"I don't get that, George. He had a rough time right after Liv died, but then he was back on his game. I know he never settled in with any of the new partners I assigned him but he worked just fine with Munch and Fin. He was definitely back to his rhythm." Don looked older and more worn than Huang had ever seen him. "How could we all miss this happening?"

"Don, Elliot's been internalizing everything, repressing the emotional response to Olivia's death to the point where I don't know if he could access it now without long term, intensive therapy, which he's not going to get." George studied the ground in front of him intently before continuing. "Elliot has informed me that if I file a report questioning his competence he'll demand another psychiatrist to examine him."

"But if he's as bad off as you say, won't another shrink come to the same conclusions?" Don asked.

"Elliot has managed to fool all of us for five years, Don. I don't doubt his ability to mask his state of mind from a psychiatrist who doesn't know him for the length of an exam. I only saw it because I've known him for years, and that is also the reason my objectivity would be questioned." George leaned tiredly against his car. "There is nothing we can do for him without his cooperation, Don."

"He won't see anyone; I've tried, so have John and Fin. Maureen called me today, she and Kathleen flew in yesterday, and Elliot's refused to see them."

George's eyebrows drew in intently then he looked as though he'd had an inspiration. "I've got to see him again as soon as possible." George pushed away from the car and started back toward the building.

"George, what's up?" Don called following him.

"I think I understand what Elliot's doing. It's a very complex form of suicide by cop, although I think it's subconscious. If I can get him to realize it consciously, he may be persuaded to mount a defense to avoid the death penalty." Huang said as they approached the gate.

"Suicide by cop? God, George, I think you right. As a devout Catholic, Elliot wouldn't eat his gun no matter how bad things were. This way he takes out some perps then the state takes him out." Don put a hand on George's arm. Huang turned to see tears in the older man's eyes. "Help him George. I know we can't save him from what he's already done, but at least help him find some peace."

"I'll do everything I can, Don. He's my friend too." George was very close to losing his composure. "I only hope I can reach him before it's too late."

TBC

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&  
A/N- Yeah, I know I said it was complete, but it seems this story won't let me go. Please use the little button and tell me what you think.


	5. The Eye Of The Needle

Title- The Eye Of The Needle

Author- garrettelliot

Disclaimer- I still don't own them. Tear!

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

As George waited for the guard to escort Elliot to the interview room, he wondered how he could get him to open up. After Olivia's death he'd had several sessions with the detective, but hadn't succeeded in breaking through Elliot's ingrained reluctance to talk to a shrink. Huang felt that the blame for Elliot's current situation lay with him. If he'd followed up with the department psychiatrist and discussed El's sessions, he'd have known that things were not progressing in a healthy manner. Perhaps he could have persuaded Stabler to continue therapy or insist that he do so to avoid reassignment to a desk.

The futility of hindsight was foremost in his mind as the guard opened the door, allowing Elliot to precede him into the room. The guard began to turn when Huang called to him.

"Remove the chains please?" George asked.

"Doc, I'm not supposed to do that." The CO said. "The prisoner is supposed to be restrained when not in his cell."

"Detective Stabler is not a danger to me, nor is he a flight risk. This is a psychiatric exam and I want my patient comfortable. Now remove the chains." For once the FBI agent won out over the shrink in George's demeanor.

"Your ass, not mine, Doc." The guard removed the manacles and paused at the door. "I'll be right outside."

"Thank you." Huang said. The door shut and he turned to face Elliot. "Don wants to see you." El shook his head. "Will you at least see your daughters?"

"George, do you think my kids need to be here?" Elliot rubbed his stubbled chin. "No, they're better off without seeing this place."

"That is bullshit and you know it." George exploded. "If you're too ashamed too face them, then say so. But don't give me that protective father crap. You are scared, Elliot Stabler! Why don't you admit it? Scared to let them see you as less than the hero cop. Afraid of the disappointment in their eyes, when they realize that the righteous cop is a murderer." Huang was silently praying that the eminent explosion brewing in Elliot's eyes would be emotional rather than physical.

Stabler had so completely disconnected from his emotions that pushing a break was the only way George could hope to get through to him quickly. He didn't think the man would strike out physically at him but that wouldn't preclude the damage he could do to himself. "I'm glad Olivia Benson isn't here to see what a coward you've become."

Elliot's shoulders slumped and he dropped his head into his hands. As his shoulders began to shake, George heard him whisper. "Liv." As badly as Huang wanted to comfort his friend, he knew that Elliot needed to let out all the pain he'd held inside for the last five years. "Yes, Liv. I think she'd be very disappointed to see how you've dealt with her death. Not at all the strong partner she relied on, are you?" Huang knew he'd pushed too far when El grew very still.

Elliot sat up and pulled himself together. "You can be a real prick sometimes, George. I see what you're trying to do. I don't need to be shrunk. I did exactly what I chose to do and I don't intend to try and weasel out of the punishment for my crime. Tell Don I'll see him." El stood and walked to the door. "Guard, we're done here."

After Elliot had been escorted out of the room, George sat down and rested his head in his hands. Maybe Cragen would have more luck; he certainly wasn't getting through to Stabler.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

A/N- Well Elliot just wouldn't talk to Huang no matter what I tried so let's see what happens next.


	6. A Weaker Brother

Disclaimer- Oh how I wish they were mine.

A/N- Please review and tell me what you think.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Don Cragen was used to frustration and futility, he'd been a cop for almost thirty years. In that time he'd dealt with cases he couldn't solve and victims that would never see justice. Even with all he'd seen, he'd never wanted to do anything else. He had once told Lennie Briscoe they'd have to carry him out feet first. But as he looked as at the picture on his desk, he wondered for the first time why he didn't retire.

The photo was almost six years old, from a time when his 'family' was still intact. The laughing woman in the photo had become a daughter to him. He remembered when she was a wet behind the ears, rookie detective, afraid to make a move or offer an opinion not first validated by her partner. He'd seen her grow into a seasoned investigator, unafraid to go toe to toe with another team member or himself if she felt she was right.

The man standing beside her was like a son to him. He'd brought him along hoping to one day turn over the unit to him. He had always been a righteous cop, dedicated to helping victims find peace by bringing perps to justice.

Olivia Benson and Elliot Stabler were both extremely good cops but together they were the best it had ever been his privilege to command. They had been poetry to watch. Their interrogation technique was as smooth as silk, seamlessly handing off the good cop/ bad cop roles effortlessly. Communicating often without even a look passed between them.

The occasion had been Olivia's birthday and they'd surprised her with a cake. A chance comment to Elliot the day before had unearthed the fact that she'd never had a birthday party. So while Melinda Warner and Elliot had kept her busy, Cragen, Munch and Fin had decorated an interrogation room and bought her favorite cake, Triple Chocolate Decadence.

The surprised look on her face had been all the thanks they had needed and the tears she refused to allow to fall as she hug each of them had touched Don in a way he couldn't begin to describe, even to himself. Melinda Warner had taken a picture of all of them arms around each other, laughing at some sarcastic comment John had made.

Six months later he had performed the most agonizing duty of his career. Giving the eulogy at Olivia's funeral had the lowest moment of his professional life. He felt as if a piece of him was buried with her and he knew a very large part of Elliot was there too.

Now he was losing his other 'child'. Elliot sat in Rikers and if they could not convince him to mount a defense, he would face the death penalty. Don hadn't felt this hopeless since Marge's plane had crashed. The bottle he kept in his desk for his detectives seemed to be calling his name and he wasn't sure why he shouldn't answer.

The ringing phone pulled him out of the memories. "Cragen." He answered.

"Don, it's George. I couldn't get Elliot to open up, but he has agreed to see you." Huang told him.

"I'm on my way George." Don hung up and looked once more at the photo. It was time to try and salvage what was left.


	7. But Then Face To Face

Disclaimer- Man, if they were mine I wouldn't share either Dick.

A/N- This is for Duffy matt who asked for an update before the next show. And yes Duffy it is beginning to sound a bit prophetic, but we'll all have to wait for the show to find out if Stabler is truly going to melt down.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Elliot knew he was dreaming as he walked through the streets in his suit and tie, Glock and badge at his hip. The cause of his certainty was walking in perfect step beside him. He didn't mind the dream; the first he'd had in years, because Liv was with him. Chasing down leads, collaring bad guys. Reality had been his nightmare for years now and this dream was the happiest moment he'd spent in a long time.

As they caught up to their perp, he fell to his knees and confessed everything. The uniforms led him away to be booked and he and Liv headed off to catch the next one. Elliot realized Olivia hadn't spoken to him or looked at him yet. He reached for her arm to ask her why and she looked down at his hands. His eyes followed hers and he saw they were covered with blood, dripping off a hitting the pavement with loud splashes.

She lifted her eyes to his and with a sorrowful disappointed look said. "Oh Elliot what did you do?"

He jerked awake, sweating, his heart pounding. He swung his legs off the bunk and cradled his head in his hands. His breath coming in short rasping, gasps.

"I'm sorry Liv." He whispered to the image of those sorrowful eyes. "I'm so sorry."

"Stabler, you've got a visitor." The guard announced. "Let's go."

Elliot knew the visitor was Don Cragen. Time to go face 'Dad' and another pair of disappointed eyes.


	8. Humbled Heart

Disclaimer- Did I say they were mine? No.

A/N- Sorry the last one was so short but it felt like a natural break. Not that this one is any longer, but I just thought I should apologize.

&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&&

Don was sitting at the end of the table when Elliot was brought in. He looked up and Elliot found he couldn't meet Don's eyes. He didn't think he could witness the pain and disappointment without breaking down.

He moved to a chair and stood beside it while the guard removed the chains and cuffs at the Captain's request. After he sat down his eyes remained on his hands, lying side by side on the worn surface. His mind overlaid the reality with the dream image of blood dripping from his fingers. Liv's soft, sorrow filled voice echoed in his mind.

"Why won't you see your daughters, Elliot?" Don asked quietly.

"I can't, Don. George is right. I'm a coward, I can face the judge and prison, and I can even face the needle. But I can't face my kids." Elliot's voice broke. "I've lost everything else. I can't face seeing the proof of their lost love and respect written on their faces." He felt Don move around the table to sit beside him.

"Look at me, Elliot." Don said.

Elliot slowly raised his eyes to face the man whose opinion was as important to him as his father's had been. He saw the disappointment he'd expected, but what broke him was the love and understanding. Hot tears fell as he groped blindly for Don's hand.

Don drew Elliot into an embrace and rocked him like a child, as his friend finally began to release some of the pain and grief he'd held inside for so long. They might not be able to save Elliot's life, but perhaps there was a chance of restoring his sanity.


End file.
